You Won't Find Me.

Driving home on a wonderful, clear, 40 degree weather night...my mind just wonders while driving multi-task-ably, trying not to stare at the other driver's lights on the opposite, incoming lane, keeping my speed, and being aware what's around me and the car. A straight road I was driving at with absolutely no light posts to brighten up the roads--this is a shortcut going back home, by the way--I started thinking about dance.

Yeah. Danc-ing, really. It's safe to say that I can dance...but I'm not that great of a dancer. But this isn't about me talking about how well people can dance or how well I can dance...but, really, aesthetically speaking...Like how people dance.

Before I go on, I'm not here to offend or diss how people dance or dancing, in general...but I'm talking about free-form, self-expressive dancing, if you catch what I'm saying. And, no, I'm not dissing other types of dances, either.

To make it more clear, I just don't like the kinds of dancing that you're being forced or controlled by...Being all limited and shit...I don't like that, preferably speaking, personally. It's just not me...Not what I would want to see with myself; not really my style. I mean, I like dancing...how it's supposed to be dancing. I like that feeling and expressiveness out of it...So free-form that it comes so natural, psychadelic even, and all that jazz...very unlimited, and YOU are the person in control...not some other dude or woman.

I'm not saying I'm mad about this...it's just I ask myself, WHY? Why be so limited, controlled, and not too "expressive"? Shouldn't be dancing be more of the self and the feel of a musical tune, melody, and rhythm? Shouldn't dancing be THE showcase of the self...and not the showcase of instruction, specific step and less dancing/movements?

I just believe that people who dance (and who, and can, dance well) should just...BE FREE. Not controlled by any other means. I mean, I do understand that there are some types of dances that do have some limitations and disciplines, and I respect that, but...I don't know. Just a few types I've seen; Say...hmm...those fake-tryin'-to-be-breakdancing ish. You know...those peeps tryin' to be 'real wit' it'. What's up with that lately!? What happend? Never saw that shit before growin' up. Not to diss those peeps...but the moves now, man...the moves and steps...What happend!?

See, that's why ya'll don't see me do any choreograph dances...a) because I could hardly remember any steps/movements...all that ish and b) it's this other reason I'm writing about. Right here.

I just like dancing...just FREELY and not having to worry about any damn steps, movements, footwork, "This is how you do it. Ready?" type ish or keeping the tempo and rhythm of steps...counting 1, 2, 3,...5, 6, 7, 8, and so on and on and on, bleh.

Let me be who I am...What I would want and like to do. I like to dance the way I like and want to dance...very free-form and expressive...Just lettin' loose on the dance floor. That's it...Period. So, if ever you guys out there that are asking me to dance...I'll dance, but asking me to do any typ e of choreograph dancing...forget it!


Does anybody feel this other than me...?

b.