Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Don't Miss Out

What have you missed out? What have others missed out?

We've all missed out on things in our lives. Minor or major. We've probably missed out on things that we just thought it didn't matter, but really, it did...and we regret it. Maybe we've missed out on things that we didn't want to admit, for whatever reasons, and thought admitting it now would be wise. Or...we've missed out on things purposely to show that, "Hey, I have the most perfect life." Bull. Chances are, we have all been missing out, or missed out on many things in life. We are our own worst enemies...Or even been instigated or victimized. Criminal or victim...Everyday we don't see what is there in ourselves...we're blinded.

I am my own worst enemy. I wasn't going to say WAS. I still am...

I missed out.

Whether you like me or not...Love me or hate me, whatever...I'm fine with that. Thank you for those. Saying it for myself, however...it's kind of both. It's just whatever I feel each day. It differs. I keep thinkin'..."Chemical or hormonal imbalance...?" Eh, don't know. I missed out. Well, I feel like I've missed out on alot lately. Time is too damn fast. I can't go back to those things in my life that I've missed...I want to, but I can't. Can I, though? Is it possible? I struggled...

...But not so much anymore...

Yeah. I struggled. I missed out for a couple of years--though it felt like forever. I wasn't sure if, or even how, I was going to escape. I wanted to so bad. It left me scarred. Not physically at all...more like emotionally and mentally. I was in a prison...well, I was the prison of my own life. I put myself there. When I say prison...I mean that literally and figuratively/metaphorically. I hated it. It made me look bad. It made me hate my ownself...Helpless. I wasn't sure if my dreams and accomplishments...those goals I've worked so hard on...I wasn't sure if those were going to be done. Completed. Accomplished. Met. To be true. I was done. Thoughts of killing myself when it got rougher. I missed. Out.

I escaped.

I caught love before...It was gone so fast before I even wanted to say, "I love you." I believed so much on the both of us...I guess we got carried away. We loved too much. I still feel like I blame myself for that...You didn't do anything. That year...a bomb dropped on me. I saw myself...You saw myself. It was hard on me. Depressing. I felt like it was the end of the world...You just didn't know how much I cared and loved. I was in agony...aching, really. I didn't know why I did the things I did...that was stupid of me to do that. I guess you could say that I ended it, huh? I knew--now, I thought--that we are/were going to be. We did too much to ourselves...I didn't. But I did. I didn't see it coming. Done...I missed. Out.

I escaped. Carry on...

If you're wondering. Yes, both are true--for those that know me. When I was typing this, this sounded like some kind of poem--well, I guess you can say it sortakindais--if want to think it is, then go ahead...it's fine with me.

See, but I did miss out on things in my life and I'm not sure how many more I can miss out or even take it anymore. Now though, fortunately I haven't. (I don't want to say the word, 'yet'). Things are good and steady...I'm trying my best...

But see, we miss out on things in our lives that matter--big or small--and we tend to push them to the side until later. When we miss out, eventually, you'll feel regretful...or maybe some other outcome.

Don't miss out on anything in life...life's too fragile to miss out on anything and anyone. I feel, as of now, that people are missing out on things and replacing those things that have been missed out with much more "important" things in peoples lives. Stop. Relax...take time with every single step. Slow down and ease yourself...Hold on so you won't miss anything...

Hold tight...


1 comment:

  1. God, that is so sad. It made me cry. Partly because I'm having a rough time anyway, partly because I'm a soppy little bitch when it comes to stuff like this... But you're right. Every time we make a decision in our lives, we miss out on the something that, had we made the other decision, would've happened. And, for the record, I don't hate you, I love you :)
    And, I'm glad it was only ever thoughts of killing yourself; but we all have those suicidal urges. Maybe me and you more than most, but we all have them.
    B... I really don't want to pry, so don't answer if you don't want to, but I don't want you having to bottle this all up inside. And I don't want to hurt your feelings, either... But are you still hurting over this lost love? Because, I bottle everything up, (I can't talk to anyone besides you) and I'm hardly the prime example of someone who leads a happy, healthy life. Its not good for the soul or the mind, and if you DO ever want to talk, then I'm always here, and I promise I'll listen, even if no one else will.


    As strange as it may sound, I do exactly the same thing as you do. Every night, I religiously log onto my blog and pray that you've left a comment on my blog. And, of course, you always do :)

    Thanks for that. Much appreciated.

    I wish it snowed here more. We get a couple of inches a year. Partly because the South coast is sheltered by hills, and the snow can't ever really get over the hills. (2008 was the exception...)

    Oh, and *I LOOOVE YOU MORE THAN A FAT KID LOVES CHOCOLATE :)* (and; a word of advice; you'll never win the battle of love we have. Me and my mum used to do this all the time, and I always thought of a comeback :D But, you can try... :D

    Thanks for the video link, I'll have to check that out in between talking to you, writing on my blog, and maths =]

    My birthday was great. I got so many nice things. But, the nicest was the entry on your blog wishing me a happy birthday. So, thanks.

    You.. had class today. I remember you saying... How was it? Good, bad, just plain ugly... :)

    Lotsa love from your pal here in the UK,

    Deanna xxxx