An Open House To Myself. (Part III)

Choice 3 from John Baker's book Life's Healing Choices is The Commitment Choice: Letting Go.

C onsciously choose

>>>> to commit all my life and will to Christ's care and control.

Beattitude # 3: "Happy are the meek." (Matthew 3:5)

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Just as I started to read the first part of this Choice, I was instantly struck because I, too, am the same way. I felt a sense of guilt and shame that I have been on this crazy, bizarre ride to the "Cycle of Despair" (Guilt, Anger, Fear, and Depression). And the thoughts and feelings of commitment and letting go.

To be honest, this has been a difficult choice, but I am happy to note that it is slowly, but gradually diminishing because of this change I have that's making my life better. The change of bettering myself and my faith; To set examples and to be a role-model to others. I say it will be difficult because I believe that there will be certain situations in which it is very hard to let go, and with commitment, it makes it even harder. But my will to let go will eventually come to focus because you have to endure it, then accept it in order to let go. That's why my faith, alongside my maturity, has brought me back in track; To let go and commit to God.

In the past it's been difficult to let go and commit with those two different situations in my life, but I came to my senses and I learned to accept and freely express what I went through; Showing no fear. Letting go, commiting, and not being ashamed with myself to others because it is truth that everyone is not perfect and that everyone has or will be, or had experienced, problems and situations in their own lives.

Reading the 5 things that keep us from making the Third Choice (Letting Go) I am gradually having control over pride, guilt, fead, worry, and doubt. It's hard, but being calm and trusting my faith and myself, it quickly diminishes.

I find myself having to do the right thing and bettering myself as an individual and most importantly being a mature man. No that I am obligated to...not at all. Being in my mid-20's has taught me something and has brought me signs and a new meaning and perspective in life. Looking back at my own self, I look and think back on all the situations I've been and the things I did and I say that I'm glad I'm not the same that I was before; That I'm not like that anymore and I'm glad I did that because I believe you better yourself every single day and that you have to be better than you were before. I can say I AM better and being better than I was before...even yesterday.

Three-deep in the Choices, I've been feeling joy and happiness in my life recently all because of my new look in life and finding myself back in the faith of God. I'm greatful for my friends and blessed to have them besided me. It's been awhile since I have been completely happy in my life...and I know why =)

Moving forward; For the best and for the right reasons...

b.