Thursday, May 28, 2009

One Day It'll All Make Sense

Will I ever get my senses sewn together, all right and correct? Perhaps perfect? Will it ever happen in my life, let alone some type of dope relationship that I still would love to be in? Skeptical? Pessimistic? I wouldn't say so of myself...not really.

I can't shake Her out of me. No one knows how good She really is...I don't think She knows how much is meant from me. I really dig Her. I Love Her. Do you understand...? Whatever it is all about her, She just makes my senses feel so right and aligned. Where you at...? "But they don't know how good you are. You got me flowin' with the stars..." Tells me no...I go the other way. I refuse. Don't give an ish to what others think...I like You. I Love You. If there's no way in believing that in me, to you, and everything else in between...Okay. You're ill altogether, girl. Sorta' feel bad for not giving or making some kind of dope cause that other dudes might have done...But I'll be sure to be in check with that. I'll make it up to You. You know...I don't really ask alot out of You...Just askin' just to be with You. A moment in time or a moment in eternity...Don't matter, I just want to make memories...Word? Not really diggin' the feeling I've had lately. Feelin' a bit empty...and feeling like something's missing in me. I'm starting to dislike it...

My senses fail, at times fall...perhaps in the wrong hands as well. I ain't freakin' perfect, you fool! Poor decisions and judgements...lack to my senses, as to all people out there. Why is it that sometimes I MUST or FEEL or feel OBLIGATED to be right or correct...? I don't realize that a lot...Now I do. So ya'll tellin' me that I gotta be wrong...? Right and/or wrong...Let me be judge of that. Psh. Fuck it. I do me, you do you...Ain't takin' any shit from peeps like that. Leave me be with myself and...a Girl? Who? Yeah, you know...Shit, ever feel like at times you're waistin' your lifetime? Don't. Do something, STUPID. You feel, son? You know, this ain't a rant...or some type of "I HATE MYSELF!" sorta's just...I've been in rage for the past several months. I just had to..I gotta' back to being sane with myself. I'm just addressing what's been ailing me, myself, and I with what's bad in me and what I want from it or out of it; to get the positives from the bad. Why am I not getting ONE thing I want? I haven't gotten anything in life...or asked anything in my life in quite some time...And now you're sayin' I can't get one stankin' thing right now...? Maybe I'm too hard on myself, losing the patience, stubborn, and...or lack of being humble. Damn...what happend to me?

Yeah, so, I like Her. Nah, nah...I love Her. I dig that Girl over there, see? Does she know what she's done to me? Like REALLY understand that? She just feels so right...Yeah, but it's complicated. Just really...really into Her. I swear, Sweetheart is just like Hip-Hop. I STILL Love its essence is Real. I ain't on that other bullshit ya'll are diggin'. I vibe out with my Girl...which I'd like to. Say's she can dance...mmhmm. See, not tryna' make this all subliminal...I'm letting myself speak for itself. It's true. I really can't get over Her. It's a damn whirlwind of a rush. I wouldn't say obsessed, though. That shit is totally different. What I do feel is that She's that type...but not giving in. I tell Her, but no...But it's cool. I really do feel right for Her...Been through so many rough paths. I smile just thinking She'd like that. It's not enough for me...Just a little more...

Ya'll know I'm talkin' 'bout the VIBE. VIBRATIONS...Stakes is high, you know the stakes is high when you're dealin' with the...

The senses, ya'll, it's the senses...
One day...

b. where you at, Love?

1 comment:

  1. Aw, B... that girl is a lucky one indeed.

    I haven't been here in AGES. God, I'm so sorry! Anyways, how've you been? Besides that post... Up to anything? Hows class and all that going?
    Me? I got another kitten :) He's so naughty, bless him. But he's young.
    Oh, hows the weather in The Windy City? Its nice and sunny on the South Coast here... Almost TOO hot. Wierd. Considering its only JUST summer. =]
    I dig that middle paragraph. I guess we're all kinda there at some point or another... Just some get stuck there. (a.k.a me). I dunno, the world doesn't like me at the moment... Aunt dies, Best friend nearly dies too... It ain't good for me.
    But oh well, life goes on... Hope you're okay, if you don't get to this.


    Deanna xx